Author: Kevin Sherman

WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? More than likely, you have. I have asked that question of myself and God more times than I can remember.

I never received the answer. At least not the one I had hoped for. I wanted to hear “Kevin, you’re going to be a ________ (fill in the blank).” A while back I found myself asking that question again. The answer came in my spirit as clear as I’ve ever heard Him speak to me; 

“Look at Jesus. Let Him be your purpose.”

“I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do.” ~ John‬ ‭17‬:‭4‬ ‭

“He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.” ~ ‭‭I John‬ ‭3‬:‭8‬ ‭

The purpose of Jesus was to glorify the Father, and by doing so destroy the works of the devil. He glorified the Father by manifesting His name – His goodness, character, and all of His attributes. He glorified the Father by obedience to His will. He destroyed the works of the devil by becoming the very curse brought upon mankind because of disobedience and ultimately dying in our place.

The Son of God was manifested to destroy the works of the devil. That begs the question, “What is the devil’s work?”

We go back to the very beginning of our existence and see that the work of the devil has always been deception. The devil’s work in Eden was to cause the man and woman to believe that God was withholding something good from them  (Genesis 3:1-5). 

Why is the devil so intent on deceiving us? To keep us from truly seeing who He is and we are in Christ.

“See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.” ~ 1 John‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ 

SEE HIM AND BE CHANGED‭

Although we have not yet become what we will be when he returns, we can approach Him with unveiled faces and see His beautiful face. In doing so, we are transformed. 

 “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” ~ 2 Corinthians‬ ‭3‬:‭18‬ 

Our enemy, the devil, knows who the Son of God is, and fears Him. 

He also fears our knowing the One who lives in us, because the more we look at Him (Jesus), the more we become like Him. 

Kevin

“You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.” ~ ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭26‬:‭3‬ 

When I graduated from high school, my mother wrote that scripture in a greeting card for me. At the time, I interpreted it as, “Try to think about the Lord all the time and you won’t worry about anything.” As you can imagine, I didn’t always keep my mind on Him, and I certainly didn’t experience peace all the time. There were even times when I did have my mind on Him and still didn’t have peace. Those last five words of the verse are so crucial – “Because he trusts in You.”

LEANING

Being the “word nerd” that I am, I looked up the meaning of the word “stayed.” That word in the Hebrew is samak, meaning “to lean or lay upon, rest upon, lean against (Brown Driver Briggs).”

Could we say then that we experience perfect peace when we lean on Him?

As I meditated on this, a picture flashed before me of the Apostle John leaning on Jesus’s breast at the Last Supper (John 13:25). In his gospel, John refers to himself as the disciple “whom Jesus loved.” What kind of peace could we have, being so secure in our knowledge of His love for us, that in the midst of a crisis we could lean into Him in complete trust?

“DO YOU TRUST ME?”

It had been a pretty good morning. I had awakened early and had a great time with Jesus and His word. While at work later that morning, I received a phone call from the head nurse at the hospital. 

“Mr. Sherman, I’m sorry, but we had to intubate your wife. She couldn’t breathe and she coded.” 

As I left my job and started the long drive to the Medical Center in Houston, a wave of fear and anxiety crashed in. It was as if I had sailed away from a peaceful island right into a hurricane. It seemed like all of the peace I had felt that morning had vanished. 

Then I heard that still small voice that I knew was the Holy Spirit.

“Do you trust Me?” 

He didn’t have to say anything else. My mind suddenly went into remembrance mode. I thought of other crises we had been through and how God had been with us in every one of them. I was thankful for those times.

The peace of God came over me. I walked into the hospital in what I can only describe as a “peace bubble.” 

THE GUARD

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~ ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭

Every time I walk into my bank I see a man to my left wearing a uniform, with a pistol at his side. He is the guard. He’s there because there is something very valuable inside. I have something very valuable inside of me called my heart. 

The Greek word for heart used in this passage is “kardia” and we recognize that as meaning anything to do with the physical heart. 

But it is used here for our soul, the seat of our thoughts, passions, desires, appetites, affections, purposes, and endeavours (Thayer). 

Every one of these expressions of my soul needs to be covered with His peace, and that peace is fueled by trust.

It is easy to forget all God has done for us when we’re being bombarded with bad news. That’s why David said this:

“Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” ~ Psalms‬ ‭103‬:‭1‬-‭5‬

We can speak to our soul and remind it that we have all of these benefits for which to be thankful.

Do it as many times a day as needed.

 

Soul, remember how good the Lord is and be at peace!

 

Kevin

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” (Philippians 4:6)

 

 EVERYTHING?

 

We might read that scripture and come to the conclusion that we ought to pray about everything. 

“Honey, I’m going to the grocery store to buy some more eggs.”

“Ok. Have you prayed about it?”

Is that what “in everything by prayer and supplication” means? Should I pray before I wash the dishes? I don’t know anyone who does that, do you? So, should we pray about everything? Yes.

 

A PRAYER LIFE OR A LIFE OF PRAYER?

 

I used to worry about my “prayer life.” Unfortunately, I try to compartmentalize my walk with God sometimes. You know, I have my family life, leisure life, work life, church life, and my prayer life.

“Pray without ceasing;” (‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5‬:‭17)

That scripture used to baffle me because it didn’t seem practical. I thought, “How can I pray all the time‬?” 

The Passion Translation puts it like this, 

“Make your life a prayer.”

 

A CONTINUAL CONVERSATION

“There’s no greater lifestyle and no greater happiness than that of having a continual conversation with God.” ~ Brother Lawrence

That’s it! We can have a continual conversation with God no matter where we are or what is happening around us. The Bible says we are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19). What happens in temples? Prayer and worship, right?

A continual conversation with God means the channel is open for me to speak and listen to Him.

Anxiety will have a hard time living in a temple that is filled with prayer. 

 

PAUL

 

“How can you tell me not to be anxious? You have no idea what I’m going through!” That might be your reaction when Paul says, “Don’t be anxious about anything.” 

Let’s consider the man who wrote it. Paul is writing this letter to the Philippians from prison. For me, just the thought of being in prison makes me anxious. And that’s not all the apostle had to deal with. 

 

“Are they servants of Christ? I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm. Then, besides all this, I have the daily burden of my concern for all the churches.” ‭‭ ~ 2 Corinthians‬ ‭11‬:‭23‬-‭28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 

How could a man who had experienced that amount of suffering overcome anxiety? How could he say things like, “Rejoice always,” In everything give thanks,” and “Pray without ceasing?” 

 

THANKSGIVING

 

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” (Philippians 4:6)

Considering all that Paul went through, why would he have much reason to be thankful in the midst of it all?

Because the Lord is near.

I don’t believe he was making a list like, “Thank you that the sun is shining,” or “Thank you for my family.”

What can I be thankful for if I’m going through unimaginable suffering?

I can be thankful that the One who said, “I’ll never leave you nor forsake you” is keeping His promise. And that brings peace.

 

Kevin

 

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The Root of Anxiety

About two-and-a-half years ago, my wife Terry and I decided to start a couple of raised bed vegetable gardens. A piece of cake, right? Wrong. I was told we would have to dig at least one-and-a-half feet below the surface first. Besides the soil being kind of hard, there were roots. All kinds of roots. Thank God it was the spring season! We live in southeast Texas. Enough said! I had no idea there were so many roots until I started digging. The deeper I dug, the bigger the roots. 

I couldn’t just pull those big ones up, they had to be cut.

 

“We’ll take her from here…”

I felt like I had a pretty good handle on this anxiety thing until July 14, 2020. My wife, Becky, had been infected with Covid-19 about a week earlier. The lockdowns had begun. The fear and anxiety in the atmosphere was tangible. Becky’s immune system had been compromised due to eighteen years of immunosuppressive drugs after a successful liver transplant. More about that some other time. After being sick for a week her breathing became very difficult. I drove her to the hospital where I was met by security telling me I could go no further. “We’ll take her from here,” they said. As I kissed her goodbye, I watched a nurse roll her away in a wheelchair. She had been admitted to the hospital many times before. Every single time I was there with her, holding her hand, praying for her, advocating on her behalf. This time, everything was out of control. 

A feeling came over me that is hard to describe. It was a mixture of worry, fear, anger, and helplessness. 

It was anxiety on steroids. 

 

I come from a long line of worriers. 

“Well, you know, Kevin, anxiety runs in our family.” That response came from a relative after I had made a remark about worrying too much. My response to her was, “Yes, I know it runs in our family, but let’s stop it from running! If Jesus said, ‘Don’t worry (Matt. 6:25)’ and ‘Be anxious for nothing,’ then there must be a way to stop it.” 

There can be generational sins that are prevalent in a family — fear, anxiety, addiction, rejection, suicide, sexual trauma, and the list goes on. We can’t change what our parents and grandparents did or neglected to do, but thank God we can learn how to overcome these things through his grace! Thank God that Jesus Christ defeated the powers of darkness through His cross, blood, and resurrection! 

 

The Secret Place

There is a place we can move into where anxiety can’t reach us.

 

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”” (Psalms‬ ‭91‬:‭1‬-‭2‬)

 

Where do you go for refuge? 

Maybe you’re asking, “Is there a shelter I can run into when things become chaotic and the walls are closing in on me?”

 

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous runs into it and is safe.” (‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭10)

 

Next time, we’ll look at what it means to run into that strong tower.

 

Kevin‬ 

 

“Be anxious for nothing…” (Philippians 4:6)

Its the year 2020, we were anxious for nothing. Suddenly, the world stopped.  A wave of death had been unleashed, much of it caused by forced isolation. Fear and anxiety were at peak levels. I lost my wife, my sons lost their mother, and my granddaughter lost her “Honey.” I was in the middle of my own personal mind renewal project while these things took place. In much of my future writing, you will hear about my journey and what I’ve been learning along the way.

I would be negligent if I only quoted “Be anxious for nothing” and left out the whole passage.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” ‭‭(Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬-‭9)‬ ‭‬‬

So much of what I’ve been learning these past ten years or so can be found in that section of scripture. It is important that we take our time looking at it line by line. 

He is near.

According to the Apostle Paul, I can choose whether or not to be anxious. That is some good news! What do you do when you feel your anxiety level increasing? Do you medicate? Watch funny goat videos? Isolate yourself? Or bury the anxious thought while you look to your favorite social media influencer for advice?

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad.” (‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭12‬:‭25)‬

That sounds encouraging, but where can I go to get a good word?

Paul says, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:4-5)

The Lord is near. I know that some interpret that to mean the Lord is coming soon. I believe it means exactly what it says…the Lord is near.

 “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.” ‭‭(Psalms‬ ‭46‬:‭1‬)

He is very present. He is near.

We can experience His nearness, His presence. Something began to shift in my soul when I began the practice of coming to Jesus first thing every morning. Upon waking, I fill my cup with coffee and sit down with Him. No news, no social media, just us. When I first began this practice, I had to learn how to be loved by Him. To be His Beloved.

As I began to learn how to be loved I learned how to be still. When I am still, I can hear the words that come from the mouth of The Word Himself! He is good and He is love.

Next time, we will dive deeper into what it means to “be anxious for nothing.”

The Lord is near.

 

Kevin

 

 

There was an old saying that I don’t hear very often anymore – “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” I don’t usually think of myself as “old” in the sense of someone who is already past their prime. In many ways I feel like I’m in my prime right now. I have way less hair than I did in my teens and twenties and it is no longer blonde, but I don’t feel like I’m 63 either. Speaking of new tricks, I’m having to learn how to be single again, which has been a challenge for a guy who doesn’t do “alone” very well (After all, I spent nearly 40 years with the best woman a man could ever ask for). Not to mention I don’t own a house anymore, I live with my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter, and I’m retiring from my job in a couple weeks, although I don’t necessarily see these three things as challenges. 

2020 was a rough year, but I really don’t have a sad story to tell. Since the beginning of last year I have experienced what David called the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I’ve been leading the men’s ministry at my home church (Grace Church in Willis, Tx.) since January of 2021 and that might be considered a challenge to some but I see it as an adventure. In fact, I see the entire path that God has set before me as an adventure. Yes, there are challenges, but all adventures have them. It makes them all the more worth it. I love adventure and I believe we were all made for adventure. We are all created in the image of a very adventurous God. 

When Jesus called each of his disciples and said “follow me”, I doubt they had any idea or inkling of the adventures that awaited them. Here was a young carpenter-turned-rabbi who lived the most adventurous life of any man who ever walked the earth. Look at this –

As they were going along the road, someone said to Him, “I will follow You wherever You go.” And Jesus said to him, “The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” And he said to another, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord permit me first to go and bury my father.” but He said to him, “Allow the dead  to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God.” Another also said, “I will follow You, Lord; but first permit me to say goodbye to those at home.” But Jesus said to him, “No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:57-62)

In our current American culture of “wokeness” and hyper-sensitivity, these words from Jesus would seem very harsh, offensive, and not safe. The first person tells Jesus, “I’ll follow you wherever you go”. This is my own paraphrase, but I imagine this – Jesus then says, “Great! Oh, by the way, I don’t really know where we’ll be sleeping on any given night, it could be in someone’s house or on the ground under the stars.” I wonder if the seeker was looking for something a little more comfortable. Jesus says “follow me” to another one and he says he needs to go and bury his father first. Sounds like a pretty good reason to put it off for a little while, I mean, making sure your dad gets a proper burial is pretty important, right? Sure, but that’s not what he’s talking about. In those days, every man left an inheritance for his children. The man knew that once his father had died he would have his portion of the inheritance and could likely afford to follow Jesus anywhere.

Jesus told him, “Don’t wait for your father’s burial. Let those who are already dead wait for death. As for you, go and proclaim everywhere that God’s kingdom has arrived” (TPT). 

The third guy seemed to have a very good reason to procrastinate. He wanted to go back first and say goodbye to his family back home. Jesus wasn’t having any of it.

“No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” 

Following Jesus should be the most exciting, adventurous, fulfilling thing we could ever set out to do but, sadly, religion has made it mostly about going to heaven someday. The kingdom of God is not some far off place we get to go to in the sweet by and by. This spiritual realm called the kingdom of God is actually more real than the natural realm. This kingdom I speak of is exciting, fun, full of adventure, and…not safe! No, not safe at all if you’re looking for the kind of security that any kind of comfortable man-made security net might provide.

 The kingdom of God appeared on earth in the form of a man called Jesus and he has invited us to come with him! In the book, “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe” from the Chronicles Of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, there is a scene that kind of sums up what I want to say here. Lucy is having a conversation with Mr. Beaver and Mrs. Beaver. They tell her about Aslan the Lion (representing Jesus Christ) and Lucy asks, 

“Is he safe?”

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe?

 ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good.

 He’s the king, I tell you!”

In this new season of my life I’m learning about a new level of surrender – falling. Yes, it’s like backing up to the edge of a cliff and falling. It feels dangerous because I don’t know what it is going to feel like at the bottom. It’s not so much the falling that scares me. It’s the sudden stop at the bottom with nothing to catch me! I took my 4 year old granddaughter, Norah, to the park earlier. There is a large rock about four feet high that kids can climb up on. She climbed up on it and said, “Pawpaw, I’m going to jump! You stand over there and catch me!” And she jumped and I caught her – over and over until she got tired. She had complete trust that I would catch her. Was it safe? No. I could have dropped her. Safety wasn’t an issue with her because she knows her Pawpaw loves her and is too good to let her hit the ground. 

There is nothing “safe” about Jesus, but, oh, is He good! 

I trust Him.

 

Kevin

 

Yesterday I was talking with one of my sons and said to him, “What a difference a year makes, huh?” He knew what I was talking about and replied, “I know!” A year ago I was about to experience my first Christmas in almost 40 years without Becky. It was a sad feeling that is hard to describe. Watching the unbridled joy of my little granddaughter helped to soothe the pain. Norah had been told that “Honey” had gone to heaven with Jesus and that’s all she would be told for now. In the meantime, she would have a joyful Christmas and nothing could stop that.  

Yesterday the realization hit me that I’ve been healed since that day 13 months ago. It wasn’t an instantaneous healing, but rather gradual. Grief is a difficult subject to teach anyone about because I’ve never met any two people who processed it the same way. How was I healed? The simplest answer I can give is – I had to lean into Jesus and let Him love me. I was telling a friend the other day that I feel like I’ve been experiencing one long and continuous kiss from my Father in heaven. What does that feel like? I’m so glad you asked. What it feels like to me is an act of kindness from a friend or even a complete stranger, or a word of encouragement, or a hug, or my granddaughter kissing me and saying, “I love you, Pawpaw!” It’s when I lay in bed at night alone and hear Jesus whisper to my heart, “I love you.” There have been so many times when I’ll be going about my daily business and suddenly feel overwhelmed by His presence. 

Can I explain it? No. Do I understand it? Barely. 

That’s probably why it’s better that I not lean on my own understanding. Sound familiar? (Prov. 3:5) It’s far better that I just lean into Jesus. I’ve been doing that more and more these days and I’m experiencing a depth of joy that has been a long time coming. 

There is a scripture the Lord gave me many years ago that had become ingrained in me. I read it again a few months ago in The Passion Translation and it blew me away!

I hear the Lord saying, “I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life. I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide. So don’t make it difficult; don’t be stubborn when I take you where you’ve not been before. Don’t make me tug you and pull you along. Just come with me!” (Psalm 32:8 TPT)

The best way to go without Him tugging and pulling me along is to follow His eyes. The Apostle John saw Christ and described Him as having eyes “like a flame of fire” (Revelation 1:14) Those eyes burn with the fire of His perfect love for us and I want to follow those eyes! The more I look into those fiery eyes, the more I am undone and the more I want others to see Him too. Regardless of what next year holds, good or bad, I’ll follow those eyes.

Lean into Him and let Him love you.

A beloved son,

Kevin

About three weeks ago, I did something I’ve never done before…I rented a dumpster. Yes. A dumpster. It wasn’t a small one either. Why did I do such a thing? Stuff. Lots of stuff. It is mind boggling to think of the amount of things we had accumulated over the years. Becky was a bargain hunter and coupon clipper. It was quite impressive to watch her in action, especially when our boys were still children. She had books of coupons that she had meticulously cut out, all sorted into categories. She knew when the weekly grocery ads would come out and she would combine those sales with coupons and walk out of the store having paid $200 for $400 worth of groceries. She believed in stocking up, which meant she never bought just one of any item. We had four growing boys and a limited budget. Even though the process was time-consuming, at the end of the month I appreciated her diligence. 

Becky grew up in a large family of eight children. Her mother was a homemaker and her dad worked on the docks at the Port of Houston as a longshoreman. They were precious, godly people and raised their children in a home full of love. They definitely lived on a tight budget. Nothing was wasted and if something could be used again, it was put away somewhere in case you needed it again. Becky picked up most of her homemaking talents from her mother. As young as eight years old, she was already helping her mother cook and bake in the kitchen. It was her favorite place to be. 

The boys and I were always amazed at her cooking skills and we definitely benefited from it in more ways than one! Becky’s talent for finding bargains carried on even after all of the boys became adults and moved out on their own. For some reason, she still saw the need to stock up on items, even though we didn’t need half as much. I would ask her why and she would say, “maybe one of the kids or somebody else will need some”. But the stuff just kept piling up. Thankfully our house didn’t look like some of the hoarders I’ve seen on the TV shows. Well, except for the closets, pantries, cabinets, garage, and attic, not to mention a little more clutter than I would have liked, but at least we could walk through the living room. 

At the beginning of the new year, I knew I had to start downsizing. I got rid of things I knew I didn’t need, which turned out to be quite a bit, and I kept a few things like family pictures and items that I knew she would want to pass along to the kids. I had a reassurance in my heart that, from Becky’s new heavenly vantage point, she was cheering me on in this endeavor. 

First, along with this sense of knowing I had, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, “you can’t take all of this where you’re going”. I knew He wasn’t telling me that I was about to die and go to heaven, but instead, He was leading me into a greater awareness of heaven on earth, a deeper life in the Spirit that couldn’t proceed any further without letting go of a lot of “stuff” that would weigh me down or distract me in my journey.

 Second, He reminded me of this passage of scripture:

“For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin. But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:3-4 NASB)

Simplicity just seemed to jump off of the page and scream at me. When that happens I know that God is putting a major emphasis on something for my benefit. If you study the word simplicity, you’ll find that the word is haplotes in the original Greek. It simply means “singleness”, no pun intended, given my current state. It is a singleness of focus and purpose. I was beginning to see what He meant by, “you can’t take all of this where you’re going”. He wasn’t primarily talking about going to a physical place, but rather a place of union with Him where stuff doesn’t really mean that much and too much of it would weigh me down. It’s laying aside every weight (Hebrews 12:1). The more I realize that He is  everything to me, the less I need of every other thing.

“One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple.” (Psalm 27:4)

One of the first things I did was clear some things out of my bedroom. Becky had a lot of clothes and shoes, which is nothing unusual for a woman. Sorry ladies, I’m not trying to stereotype, but I have talked to some of my male peers who have verified this. Did I say she had a lot of shoes? After clearing her clothes and shoes out, I donated all of them to a resale shop that benefits our county women’s shelter. Becky always had a heart for women who were down and out or had been battered, and had helped several of them over the years. I have wanted to have my own little study/prayer place in the house, but we never had the free space. Now I did. I got a small desk that someone was throwing out and I put it in my room. I bought a small rug because I like to lay on the floor sometimes when I’m praying or just soaking in the presence of God. I set it all up and that first evening I put on some instrumental soaking music and just layed on the floor.

Almost immediately I felt the heavy weight of His glory settle down on me like a warm, weighted blanket. I cried like a baby. I could feel His pleasure, His smile. It was like a fresh baptism in the fiery love of Jesus. I caught a glimpse of those eyes of fire that John the Apostle saw while caught up in the Spirit on the Isle of Patmos. Oh how He loves us! This is why I’m simplifying my life, This is why I want to lay aside every weight. I have somewhere to go. I’m not exactly sure where that is, but I know that I’ll be traveling with Him and that’s all that really matters to me. You can call me a minimalist, which is probably true now, but all I really want to do is just follow Jesus and I can’t wait to see where we’ll go!

Simply following Him,

Kevin

Surrender and Simplicity – Part 1

 

I love it when God speaks to me. Sometimes it comes through His written word, another person, a gentle nudge, a sense, or just that still, small voice. He does it in a variety of ways and I love that about Him! 

As 2020 came to a close, two things came to me very clearly through the Holy Spirit: 

Surrender

Simplicity

  I wrote these words in my journal on December 31st: “I leave 2020 surrendered to you, Lord. I let go. After a year of great turmoil and personal loss, You remain faithful.”

  Not only was it a year of great turmoil, but it was the hardest year of my life and yet here was God telling me to surrender. What? Him telling me to surrender may not sound very comforting to you, especially considering all I had just gone through, but I’ve had such an unfolding revelation of the love of the Father over the past few years that it was actually comforting to me. Our Father disciplines us because He loves, right? 

What does it mean to surrender to someone? Webster’s Dictionary defines the verb “surrender” this way: 

To surrender – To yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand. 

Not only was it surrender that He was asking of me, but unconditional surrender. An unconditional surrender is a surrender in which no guarantees are given to the surrendering party. The only guarantee He gave me was the promise that He would never leave me or forsake me, and what a great promise that is! But the level of surrender He was calling me to would have no other guarantees. The Apostle Paul, who wrote the majority of the New Testament, had this to say:

“Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which I was laid hold of by Jesus Christ. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do; forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:12-14 NASB)

Forgetting those things that are behind? It sounds contradictory for me to quote that since I just finished a five part blog recounting our experience of Becky’s illness and passing, doesn’t it? The Passion Translation puts verse 13 like this: “ I don’t depend on my own strength to accomplish this; however I do have one compelling focus: I forget all of the past as I fasten my heart to the future instead.”  It’s all about what I choose to focus on. It’s not that I won’t remember it anymore, it’s just that when I do I’ll choose to focus on God’s goodness and faithfulness. The forgetting that Paul is talking about really means to not care about. It’s not at the forefront of my mind anymore. Instead, I’m fastening my heart to the future. 

I have no idea what my future holds, which is all the more why I need to be completely surrendered to Him. He is good and His plans for me are good. When you come to realize the depths to which you are loved by your Creator, surrender will be the response to that love. The Son of God, Himself, left His throne, laid aside certain privileges, and took on the form of a man. He lived as a man completely surrendered to the will of His Father. He faced every temptation that I have or ever will and overcame it. I want to be conformed to the image of that Son (Rom. 8:29). 

The reason Paul could forget all of the past (and he had quite a past) was that he had been captured by Christ. He had been arrested, so to speak, by One who loves His people so much that He would say to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” Saul, who became Paul, may not have realized it at that moment, but he had been captured by the love of Christ! He even refers to himself as a “prisoner of Jesus Christ” later in some of his letters to the churches. I’ve been captured by the love of Christ too. No, I didn’t get knocked to the ground and blinded for three days like Saul, but I’ve had numerous times, especially in the past six months, where I have felt so overwhelmed by His love that all I could do was lay on the floor and surrender to waves of love that felt like fire. 

Since I was a kid, I’ve asked the Lord countless times to “do something in my life” as I’m sure many of you have. “Do something in my life” is a legitimate prayer, but have you ever been “undone” by Him? The prophet Isaiah said he was undone (ruined) when he saw the Lord sitting on His throne (Is. 6). The apostle John saw the Lord and fell at His feet as though dead (Rev. 1). When you have had undeniable encounters with Him you are forever ruined. Surrender comes easy to someone who has been ruined for anything else. In John’s encounter with Jesus on the island of Patmos, he describes Jesus as having eyes like a flame of fire. That picture comes to my mind quite often when I’m in prayer and it melts me. Imagine what it did to John. Those eyes burn with fiery, passionate love for us and when we get a glimpse of it we are forever ruined. 

Undo us, Lord.

 

Kevin