Surrender and Simplicity – Part 2

About three weeks ago, I did something I’ve never done before…I rented a dumpster. Yes. A dumpster. It wasn’t a small one either. Why did I do such a thing? Stuff. Lots of stuff. It is mind boggling to think of the amount of things we had accumulated over the years. Becky was a bargain hunter and coupon clipper. It was quite impressive to watch her in action, especially when our boys were still children. She had books of coupons that she had meticulously cut out, all sorted into categories. She knew when the weekly grocery ads would come out and she would combine those sales with coupons and walk out of the store having paid $200 for $400 worth of groceries. She believed in stocking up, which meant she never bought just one of any item. We had four growing boys and a limited budget. Even though the process was time-consuming, at the end of the month I appreciated her diligence. 

Becky grew up in a large family of eight children. Her mother was a homemaker and her dad worked on the docks at the Port of Houston as a longshoreman. They were precious, godly people and raised their children in a home full of love. They definitely lived on a tight budget. Nothing was wasted and if something could be used again, it was put away somewhere in case you needed it again. Becky picked up most of her homemaking talents from her mother. As young as eight years old, she was already helping her mother cook and bake in the kitchen. It was her favorite place to be. 

The boys and I were always amazed at her cooking skills and we definitely benefited from it in more ways than one! Becky’s talent for finding bargains carried on even after all of the boys became adults and moved out on their own. For some reason, she still saw the need to stock up on items, even though we didn’t need half as much. I would ask her why and she would say, “maybe one of the kids or somebody else will need some”. But the stuff just kept piling up. Thankfully our house didn’t look like some of the hoarders I’ve seen on the TV shows. Well, except for the closets, pantries, cabinets, garage, and attic, not to mention a little more clutter than I would have liked, but at least we could walk through the living room. 

At the beginning of the new year, I knew I had to start downsizing. I got rid of things I knew I didn’t need, which turned out to be quite a bit, and I kept a few things like family pictures and items that I knew she would want to pass along to the kids. I had a reassurance in my heart that, from Becky’s new heavenly vantage point, she was cheering me on in this endeavor. 

First, along with this sense of knowing I had, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, “you can’t take all of this where you’re going”. I knew He wasn’t telling me that I was about to die and go to heaven, but instead, He was leading me into a greater awareness of heaven on earth, a deeper life in the Spirit that couldn’t proceed any further without letting go of a lot of “stuff” that would weigh me down or distract me in my journey.

 Second, He reminded me of this passage of scripture:

“For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin. But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:3-4 NASB)

Simplicity just seemed to jump off of the page and scream at me. When that happens I know that God is putting a major emphasis on something for my benefit. If you study the word simplicity, you’ll find that the word is haplotes in the original Greek. It simply means “singleness”, no pun intended, given my current state. It is a singleness of focus and purpose. I was beginning to see what He meant by, “you can’t take all of this where you’re going”. He wasn’t primarily talking about going to a physical place, but rather a place of union with Him where stuff doesn’t really mean that much and too much of it would weigh me down. It’s laying aside every weight (Hebrews 12:1). The more I realize that He is  everything to me, the less I need of every other thing.

“One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple.” (Psalm 27:4)

One of the first things I did was clear some things out of my bedroom. Becky had a lot of clothes and shoes, which is nothing unusual for a woman. Sorry ladies, I’m not trying to stereotype, but I have talked to some of my male peers who have verified this. Did I say she had a lot of shoes? After clearing her clothes and shoes out, I donated all of them to a resale shop that benefits our county women’s shelter. Becky always had a heart for women who were down and out or had been battered, and had helped several of them over the years. I have wanted to have my own little study/prayer place in the house, but we never had the free space. Now I did. I got a small desk that someone was throwing out and I put it in my room. I bought a small rug because I like to lay on the floor sometimes when I’m praying or just soaking in the presence of God. I set it all up and that first evening I put on some instrumental soaking music and just layed on the floor.

Almost immediately I felt the heavy weight of His glory settle down on me like a warm, weighted blanket. I cried like a baby. I could feel His pleasure, His smile. It was like a fresh baptism in the fiery love of Jesus. I caught a glimpse of those eyes of fire that John the Apostle saw while caught up in the Spirit on the Isle of Patmos. Oh how He loves us! This is why I’m simplifying my life, This is why I want to lay aside every weight. I have somewhere to go. I’m not exactly sure where that is, but I know that I’ll be traveling with Him and that’s all that really matters to me. You can call me a minimalist, which is probably true now, but all I really want to do is just follow Jesus and I can’t wait to see where we’ll go!

Simply following Him,

Kevin

Surrender and Simplicity – Part 1

Surrender and Simplicity – Part 1

 

I love it when God speaks to me. Sometimes it comes through His written word, another person, a gentle nudge, a sense, or just that still, small voice. He does it in a variety of ways and I love that about Him! 

As 2020 came to a close, two things came to me very clearly through the Holy Spirit: 

Surrender

Simplicity

  I wrote these words in my journal on December 31st: “I leave 2020 surrendered to you, Lord. I let go. After a year of great turmoil and personal loss, You remain faithful.”

  Not only was it a year of great turmoil, but it was the hardest year of my life and yet here was God telling me to surrender. What? Him telling me to surrender may not sound very comforting to you, especially considering all I had just gone through, but I’ve had such an unfolding revelation of the love of the Father over the past few years that it was actually comforting to me. Our Father disciplines us because He loves, right? 

What does it mean to surrender to someone? Webster’s Dictionary defines the verb “surrender” this way: 

To surrender – To yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand. 

Not only was it surrender that He was asking of me, but unconditional surrender. An unconditional surrender is a surrender in which no guarantees are given to the surrendering party. The only guarantee He gave me was the promise that He would never leave me or forsake me, and what a great promise that is! But the level of surrender He was calling me to would have no other guarantees. The Apostle Paul, who wrote the majority of the New Testament, had this to say:

“Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which I was laid hold of by Jesus Christ. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do; forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:12-14 NASB)

Forgetting those things that are behind? It sounds contradictory for me to quote that since I just finished a five part blog recounting our experience of Becky’s illness and passing, doesn’t it? The Passion Translation puts verse 13 like this: “ I don’t depend on my own strength to accomplish this; however I do have one compelling focus: I forget all of the past as I fasten my heart to the future instead.”  It’s all about what I choose to focus on. It’s not that I won’t remember it anymore, it’s just that when I do I’ll choose to focus on God’s goodness and faithfulness. The forgetting that Paul is talking about really means to not care about. It’s not at the forefront of my mind anymore. Instead, I’m fastening my heart to the future. 

I have no idea what my future holds, which is all the more why I need to be completely surrendered to Him. He is good and His plans for me are good. When you come to realize the depths to which you are loved by your Creator, surrender will be the response to that love. The Son of God, Himself, left His throne, laid aside certain privileges, and took on the form of a man. He lived as a man completely surrendered to the will of His Father. He faced every temptation that I have or ever will and overcame it. I want to be conformed to the image of that Son (Rom. 8:29). 

The reason Paul could forget all of the past (and he had quite a past) was that he had been captured by Christ. He had been arrested, so to speak, by One who loves His people so much that He would say to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” Saul, who became Paul, may not have realized it at that moment, but he had been captured by the love of Christ! He even refers to himself as a “prisoner of Jesus Christ” later in some of his letters to the churches. I’ve been captured by the love of Christ too. No, I didn’t get knocked to the ground and blinded for three days like Saul, but I’ve had numerous times, especially in the past six months, where I have felt so overwhelmed by His love that all I could do was lay on the floor and surrender to waves of love that felt like fire. 

Since I was a kid, I’ve asked the Lord countless times to “do something in my life” as I’m sure many of you have. “Do something in my life” is a legitimate prayer, but have you ever been “undone” by Him? The prophet Isaiah said he was undone (ruined) when he saw the Lord sitting on His throne (Is. 6). The apostle John saw the Lord and fell at His feet as though dead (Rev. 1). When you have had undeniable encounters with Him you are forever ruined. Surrender comes easy to someone who has been ruined for anything else. In John’s encounter with Jesus on the island of Patmos, he describes Jesus as having eyes like a flame of fire. That picture comes to my mind quite often when I’m in prayer and it melts me. Imagine what it did to John. Those eyes burn with fiery, passionate love for us and when we get a glimpse of it we are forever ruined. 

Undo us, Lord.

 

Kevin